Come see our sink grown plant.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
