you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize
