and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Randomize
