He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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