If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
How's work?
Spinning.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
