Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
