I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
