I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
