Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
