Christians are straight up FREAKS
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
