yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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