Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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