and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
