420 ftw
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
