I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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