..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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