dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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