My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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