doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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