he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
We are two peas in an std pod
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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