didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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