so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
