i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
You ate ashes out of my bong
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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