I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
