escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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