If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
