theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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