I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
