dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
