Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
