Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Randomize
