allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
