oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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