I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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