If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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