you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
