Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
She needs sedatives and a leash
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
