im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize