"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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