they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
