Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
