dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
