I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
