So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
you made out with another girl for some wings
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
