If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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