You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
