That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
