This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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