this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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