it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
either way he was missing a nipple.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
