I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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